I was having a conversation with Nancy. During our conversation she revealed that she had been following me for years. She has my first book and it made a huge impact on her life. When she found out that we had a mutual acquaintance, that could introduce us, she was beyond thrilled. To her I was an idol. Someone she admired and followed but was totally out of reach and not someone she dared to talk to.
I was confused when she shared this. On the one hand, I was thrilled to have made such an impact on her and her journey building her own business. On the other hand I didn’t understand why I seemed so out of reach for her. Why was she afraid to reach out to me?
I thought of the story I used to hear growing up. As the story goes, when I was a little girl I was afraid of my grandfather. He was the patriarch of the family. Everyone respected him. But in my eyes he was a scary old man with a big white beard. He was totally unapproachable. One day I was at his house. I was in my aunt’s arms when he walked in. I started to cry and buried my face in her neck. At some point, my grandfather went into the bathroom and she said to me “Look, he’s just like you, he uses the bathroom too.” It seems so simple but seeing him as a normal person allowed me to build a relationship with him.
Why do we ever assume that people are too good, or at too high of a level to talk with us? Why are we afraid of people we don’t know?
And that leads me to the next point.
I have a lot of great things going for me. I can also promise you this… I am very much a work in progress. There are lots of things about me that could use improvement. If you think I’m kidding, ask my family. They love me and will happily tell you all of the areas where I need to improve. And if they don’t have enough examples, I can share some more.
Like many people, when I look at myself I see the flaws. When Nancy told me how much my book impacted her life, I was caught off guard. I had to force myself to take it in and admit to myself that my work could have such a profound effect on someone’s life. How could someone so flawed make such a difference?
And that brings us full circle, doesn’t it?
When it comes down to it we are all the same, aren’t we? We are all just people. My grandfather was just a man. I am just Carrie. Each of us is a wonderful combination of amazing, and very flawed characteristics and, depending on what’s going on in our lives at the moment, you may need to be reminded of one or the other.
Here’s my challenge to you.
Reach out to someone you admire. Someone who you believe is out of your league. Be open and honest with them. Tell them about the impact they had on you, and then two things will happen. First, you will get to speak with someone who means a lot to you. And second, the person you admire will be reminded to turn their focus away from their flaws and back to their amazing traits for at least a little while. Sounds like a win-win to me.
The conversation I had with Nancy really got me thinking. What about you? What do you think? Share with me in the comments section below.
Love the article, Carrie. It reminded me of my friend Sandy, whom I admire greatly and who taught me that I am perfect, because there is only one of me. I met her when I was in my thirties and she made an impact in my way of thinking. As a result, I changed many of my beliefs and created new ones that were more in line with my feelings and my thinking.
Hope to see you soon!