I’m an introvert. 
Groups of people intimidate me. I worry about who I’ll talk with. I never know where to sit. I somehow always feel like a third wheel. Mostly though, I wonder… will they like me?
You know what? It feels good to admit this to you.
The real problem is that, as a business owner, I need to get past this and get comfortable being uncomfortable. There are times when I must walk into a room filled with strangers and get to know people and let them get to know me because above all else… I yearn to be part of a group.
What’s most interesting about me is the flip side. I love people. I love talking with people. I love getting to know them. I love watching people. I am comfortable with people I know. I’m usually comfortable in small groups, especially if there are a few people I already know in that group.
So what’s an introvert like me to do when faced with a networking function or an event with a large group of people? How do I (or maybe you?) break in and feel accepted and part of the room.
Here are five strategies I use every time I walk into a room full of people.
1. Know what type of environment supports you best. I prefer a quiet space and a small group of people. If possible I try to meet people in these environments and go to smaller networking events. On occasions when I can’t do that, I try to create my preferred environment. For instance, at large events I will step outside, or go to the side of the room with one or two people and get to know them better.
2. Decide what you want to get from the event. What is your goal and what is your plan to reach it? And to take some of the pressure off, BEFORE the event decide how you will follow up with the people you meet.
3. Smile. Before I walk into any networking event I purposefully put a smile on my face. Smiling makes you look more open and approachable to the people in the room and a smile on your face (even a fake one) will convince your brain that you are happy.
4. Take care of yourself. I will speak for myself here… networking takes a lot of energy for me. I need to make sure that I eat well, stay hydrated and build recovery time into my schedule.
5. Decide to have fun. Let’s be honest for a moment. A lot of this is mind over matter. Decide to have fun and look for ways to make the event fun.
Does walking into a room filled with people make you nervous too?
I’d love to know your strategies for getting past it. Please share them with me in the comments section below.
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Good advice. I look for a familiar face and join them, if not I look for a friendly face and ask if I may join them and work my way from there.
Once I reached a point where I no longer had to chauffeur children places I joined a lace group. This year I ventured out into public by helping at their booth at various events. I found I can talk to people that pass by and want to know more about the lace that is being made by me or others. Also, if I’m at an event devoted to a particular thing like lace, or medieval reenactment, it is easier to walk up to strangers and start discussing what the event is about.
Rita… knowing that you’re all there with a common interest does make it so much easier! Thanks for sharing that!
Fellow introvert here. 🙂
Truth is, Carrie, I’m as comfortable as a pair of fuzzy slippers when in command of an audience, even a large one. However, I don’t relish mingling WITH the audience. Go figure. LOL!
Awesome tips in your post!
A few months ago I wrote a piece about how to approach and deal with introverts. It’s hard for people to understand how introverts function. I am not intimidated to speak in front of a crowd of a thousand people, but if I had to walk into a room with 100 strangers to network, it probably will not happen. I will feel the same way. But as a business owner (UMMMM), you do have to learn to be uncomfortable at times. http://voices.yahoo.com/how-introverts-function-written-introvert-12344200.html?cat=141
Great article! Thank you for sharing it.
Thanks for the tips, I feel the same way in networking groups. I will often position myself in a way to help people, find other lost or shy people to be friendly with. I was once completely overwhelmed at a conference in a big hotel. I grabbed a table near an electric outlet and looked approachable. I made some great “connections” that day with people who needed to charge their electronic devices.
Love it! Find a nice space where people will naturally come to you!
I’m an introvert, too, and can be shy when meeting new people or when attending an event with large groups, although ironically I am a professional speaker and LOVE live public speaking and being on the stage! 😀 At the last networking event I attended, which was speakers’ training (I was an attendee, not a speaker), I just smiled at people, found a small group of women to talk to and reached out to them first. Sometimes you just have to push yourself past that comfort zone. That day I also made a new friend, someone with whom I had some things in common. I had gone there to learn – which I learned a LOT that day! – but also to network and the new friend was a surprise bonus. 🙂
I love speaking from the stage too. It’s all so interesting. I think it helps me have a purpose at an event. And yes… you have to push yourself past the comfort zone and who knows, maybe one day we’ll find the new zone comfortable too.
Fantastic tips. AND even people who seem like extroverts will gain great value from this. 🙂
Write on!~
Lisa Manyon
As a fellow introvert I can relate to a lot of what you shared. I think b/c we do much better with deep conversation, and often that is harder to achieve in large groups, we can feel overwhelmed. I do a lot of intention work before I network, and I ask for the few people that I’m meant to connect with to ‘light up’ so I can connect with them and not feel bad if I don’t connect with everyone in the room. It works and has made this monthly venture so much more enjoyable 🙂
Love this article! After many years of thinking I was an extrovert, I’ve realized I’m in fact in introvert too … and very empathic. I’m much more discerning about the events I attend and who I spend time with so I can effectively manage my energy.
Thanks for your tips!
As a youngster, I was quiet and shy. What helped me overcome that was becoming an advocate. I was an unofficial “big sister” for 6 siblings in foster care, and I eventually helped to recruit adoptive families. They are still a part of my life 40 years later! You can find your voice when you have something important to say to speak up for someone you care about.
I became known at my last job Ms. Networker. Occasionally, though, I am intimidated and feel like a kid at the grownups’ table. So, I walk up to individuals or small clusters of people, and ask questions to learn about their needs and goals. That usually leads them to ask about mine. And away we go.
Judith,
I love that you were an unofficial “big sister” and you know what…it’s still what you’re doing when you go to a networking event.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Carrie
I am exactly the woman described in the beginning of this story. I hate networking events and walking into a room of people by myself. The part where you actually walk through the door is the worst. I find an effective strategy is to go to the bar for a glass of ginger ale. The people as they wait in line are captive just like you so its a good time to simply ask “how do you come to be at…”this event”, Cheryl’s wedding, this award ceremony..whatever it is. People love to talk about themselves and it is a nice opener that you can ask with a smile. It’s also professional. Works every time. The best is to just remember that everyone in the room, no matter who they are or what they look like, are just people just like you, with their own problems and family issues etc….. just like you. So no need to be afraid to approach anyone.
Lori,
I love the question “how do you come to be at…”.
And the other part of your comment about everyone just being people. I recently wrote an article about that… https://carriegreenecoaching.com/they-are-no-better-than-you-get-over-yourself-to-build-amazing-business-relationships/
Thank you for sharing!
Carrie