I help facilitate a Facebook page for a group of entrepreneurs. The page is for day-to-day support. Everyone is encouraged to use the page as a place to ask questions, share celebrations and challenges.
I was monitoring the page one day and I saw a post by someone who “admitted” she had been hiding. She shared that things had been hard. She hadn’t been following through on commitments. She said that she had been hiding because it was obvious from all the other posts that everyone else was doing great.
Stop judging yourself by what you see on Facebook.
Facebook is a world of extremes.
There are some people who seem to spend every moment in absolute bliss. They get everything they want. Everything is easy. They accomplish every single thing they set out to do. Business is great and they are inundated with new clients. If they encounter an obstacle they overcome it effortlessly.
Then there are those for whom nothing goes right. People and pets are always sick or dying. Business is awful and they can’t seem to get a decent client. None of the things they set out to do happen. They are angry and frustrated with their lot in life.
Newsflash: What you see on Facebook is a very small part of the story.
I speak with a lot of the entrepreneurs on the Facebook group I mentioned and I know for a fact that most of them, whether they post their amazing life or their miserable one, are just showing up to their life every day.
They get up in the morning. They encounter obstacles. They work to overcome them, sometimes they are successful and sometimes not. Sometimes someone is sick, other times everyone is healthy. Sometimes things are going well in their business, other times it seems like everything is coming apart at the seams. Most days are simply just days and that is okay.
I’m not going to tell you what to post, that is truly up to you.
What I am going to suggest is that stop judging yourself by the half-truths and the partial stories that you see on Facebook.
Instead, take an honest look at what’s going on in your life. Celebrate the good (there are some) and acknowledge the challenges (I know there are challenges too). And then all that’s left for you to do is show up and do your best.
Facebook has given us the ability to peer into the private thoughts of others. Those thoughts are selective; you are not seeing it all. Where have you allowed what you are seeing to cloud your judgment of yourself? Share your thoughts about this below.
GENIUS post Carrie.
Thanks for reminding us all of this ever so important and ever so forgotten fact.
Another great insight.
Thank you Cathy!
You’ve touched on something REALLY important here Carrie. I’m so glad you wrote about it. Especially because there are some of us in the coaching world who really rely on FB as a place to share and connect. It can feel awfully lonely if you think everyone around you is doing really well, and you’re finding it tough. Many folks in our community don’t want to put their energy on what is wrong in regard to their business because they want to focus on what’s going right, but often means they don’t show up at all on FB and feel ‘less than’. It is a world of extremes. Only the people you know intimately are going to tell you the truth – and they are NOT on FB, (or they’re not sharing it on the wall, if they are there.) Building a coaching business can be a lonely journey and sometime strangely enough FB can emphasize that loneliness. I encourage folks to take on what you said Carrie, and not just rely on FB for support but more intimate settings where you can connect with people who are willing to show all sides of themselves.
I have met plenty of people through facebook… I’ve gotten to know them offline.
Great article and a perfect remember to not compare your insides with someone else’s outsides! I only put on the Life is Good in my business page. It is in safe, membership groups that I get to share the real me. Sadly, this same protectiveness exists in person. I stopped asking fellow Chamber members how business was years ago. They all told me great! I knew that wasn’t the case when they went out of business.
I value the two oro three membership only groups that I belong to. I know I can say anything there and not be judged – more often I am supported and thanked for my honesty. Thanks again for the reminder that things are not always what they might seem to be.
Jean… yes, this discrepancy exists offline too. It’s so easy to judge ourselves based on the limited view we have of others. You can only judge yourself based on yourself.
Carrie you rock! Teach me.
It’s a judgment call how authentic to be when you know that what you share on media affects the perception of who you are inside. Exposing your vulnerability can help you connect with your tribe. Either bragging or coming across as whiny and excuse-oriented, not so much. The difference can be subtle.