Have you ever left your house only to discover that you left the information you need on your counter? Maybe you’ve arrived at the dry cleaners only to realize you didn’t bring your clothes? Have you scheduled follow up conversations with people you bump into in the hall, only to completely forget about them by the time you get back to your desk? Such “forgetfulness” can be maddening. It occurs during “transition times” when moving from one activity to another. Things and thoughts tend to get misplaced, or lost during these times. What can you do?
Training yourself to ask yourself “Do I have what I need for what is coming next?” during transition times often helps to remedy the situation. Some transitions are bigger than others. Big transitions, like shifting from summer vacation into September when everyone’s pace seems to pick up, are often stressful. But it is just as important to recognize and appreciate the many “little” transitions we go through every single day. When you get up from your desk to get yourself a glass of water, ask yourself: “Do I have what I need for what is coming next?” Do you have your water glass? Do you have a notebook and pen in case you run into someone in the hall and need to write down a note? When you leave your home in the morning stop and ask, “Do I have what I need for what is coming next? Do you have your coat, briefcase, the work that you did last night? Do you have the bills you want to mail? Do you have your dry cleaning? Do you have the list of errands you’re planning on running?
Do you have children? Teach them to stop and ask themselves this question too. Before they leave for school in the morning, “Do I have what I need for what is coming next?” Do they have their backpacks, lunches, coats, homework? Do they have their sporting equipment for the game after school? Before they leave school, “Do I have what I need for what is coming next?” Do they have their assignment pads? The homework they need to do that night? Are there any questions they need to ask their teachers before they leave?
How do you train yourself to do this? Create a sign with this question on it and hang it on the door you use every morning. Tape it to your steering wheel or put it on your key chain. Put it where you will see it. For your children, have them create a small tab with the question on it to attach to their backpack zippers and have them write it on the outside of their folders. Ask their teacher to write it next to the homework on the board — it will help every child in the class, not just yours. Have your child design a sign and hang it on the inside of their locker. Ask them the question constantly as you see them transitioning between things. Model the behavior for them. When you ask yourself “Do I have what I need for what is coming next?” say it aloud. Let them see you learning to use this tool.
You might think you are too busy to stop and take this extra time between tasks. But by giving yourself permission to stop for 15-seconds you will find that you will have what you need and will make better use of your time! You won’t have to go to the dry cleaners twice. You won’t have to return to your child’s school to pick up forgotten things. You won’t forget to bring your notes to an important meeting with your boss. You will save time and most importantly decrease your frustration level. Not bad for 15-seconds.
by Carrie Greene, ACC, CarrieThru, LLC, ADHD Coaching & Organizing Services.
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