I had breakfast with a colleague the other day, she told me about a pile that she has in her office. The pile is about three feet high. The pile is in her way, she finds herself walking around it all the time.
The pile consists of magazines, newspaper articles, books and other information that she came across during President Obama’s journey to the White House. This is a topic that she feels passionate about and it certainly holds historical significance. What she is finding however, is that keeping the information has come at a great cost to her.
Her initial reason for collecting everything was because she saw Obama’s journey as truly momentous. As she gathered articles and magazines she pictured her grandchildren asking her questions about Obama. She saw herself whipping out all of the material and reliving history as she shared it with them.
Amassing the information was exciting but now, it has just become a pile. She is still fascinated by President Obama but where she used to feel uplifted and excited by her “Obama pile” it now leaves her feeling drained, tired and uninspired. She told me that she thinks she has to let it go.
She recognizes that everything she has, and much more, is available in libraries and online. She also knows that regardless of what happens to the pile she will get to keep her memories. She has come to understand that the pile, not the man, dream or journey, has become clutter.
I asked her how she was going to feel when the pile was gone. She said that she’ll mourn it but that she’ll also feel relief. She told me that she will be able to breathe again. She will be able to walk into that room and feel good and happy and not feel the weight of the pile.
Sometimes we gather things that are important to us as we collect them. It may be information about a project that we’re involved in, a hobby we are interested in, ideas that come to us that we may want to pursue at some point or a topic that simply catches our eye. There’s nothing wrong with keeping these things. The problem comes when it’s time to let them go.
Here are two ways to handle letting these things go.
- Allow yourself to mourn the physical loss but consciously shift your energy and mindset to recognizing and appreciating what you will gain when it’s gone.
- Take a moment to recognize and thank these things for the place they held in your life and say “Goodbye”.
Here’s my challenge to you. Take a look at the things you are saving. Are they from dreams that you no longer have? Do they reflect things that may have interested you at some point but aren’t part of your life anymore? Are they from projects that you started but you know in your heart you won’t come back to? What might it be time for you to say “Thank You” to and then “Goodbye.”?
I love this article. I can see two or three piles right now that need to be let go.
But what about the piles that are still “to do one day,” that you are not ready to part with yet? If you have posted about that, I would love the links.
Thanks again for your invaluable insights. I always enjoy your newsletter.
Donna
Hi Donna,
Glad you found this article helpful as well as my newsletters!
I don’t have an article specifically about the “to do one day” piles but here’s something for you to think about…do you know specifically when “one day” is? It’s been my experience that unless you do then one day never happens.
Carrie
This is a great article. I’m going to use this as I declutter the home. Has anyone tried the “thank you & goodbye” with children? My 8yr old daughter doesn’t seem to want to let go of anything. When she does it may be one or two items. I was thinking maybe of photographing her things and getting her to do a memory book with them. Am I on track or is there any other advice?
If I may say Donna, Carrie has a point and I keep reminding myself all the time to “schedule things in”, like an appointment. Otherwise I fall into the one-day syndrome. A holistic practioner has a tag line for her business as “One day and Someday are not days of the week” and it’s so true!
Thanks for your insights Carrie!
Deeni, I’m glad that you also enjoyed the article. I haven’t tried “thank you & goodbye” with kids specifically but it may very well work…certainly let me know if you try it. I have gone through things with kids and put old things in boxes. The kids & I agree to let them go if they haven’t “needed” them after 2 months. Of course it’s important that after a couple of months you actually get rid of them without reminding the kids :).
Hope that help.
My biggest area of concern/need to do, is I have lots things, (both keepables and stuff not so keepable), in boxes. Do I go through each box? Or do I group them in groups & then go through them? If so, do I repack until I can get to my bookcases? or my craft area? or my office space? Help! Any tips on what to do?
Hi Kathy,
Generally I prefer to get rid of the “not so keepable” stuff 1st so that I can see what is left but it’s really a personal decision.
Here are a couple of tips to help you figure it out for you:
1. If this was somebody else’s stuff…what would I tell them to do 1st or how would I tell them to go about it.
2. What’s going to make the biggest difference to you?
3. Are there a few “quick steps” that I could do to make a difference.
Hope this helps!
Carrie
I came across this interesting article on your site, and I think it has helped me put things into perspective. I realise that I am not the only person with this problem of holding on to things I should dispose of. It is sentimental, as many of these items relate to a part of our lives that we want to hold as a memory.
The 3 questions that You have listed are really helpful.
1/ I would tell them to get rid of it!
2/ I would feel liberated that I had cleared some space.
3/ I could assess the items one week, and then return the next week. I have often heard that when you do this , you are more successful in achieving your goal.
So glad that this helps! Let me know how it goes…
Carrie
Dear Carrie, and Fee,
Thanks for giving my some options/suggestions.
I tried to answer your questions, but I wasn’t able to. I was only able to answer #3: shuffle it until I cleared some space. But I still don’t know if I should go through each box as I move it or group things then sort. One of those age old riddles! Group then sort or Sort then group??? What to do? What to do????
PS: My husband is getting tired of my stuff all spread out as I try to figure out what to do with everything. Any other suggestions? Tips? Thanks again.